my monthly post

Hey, look! It's the first week of August, aka time for my monthly post. Seriously, since May, I've written once in the beginning of the month, and then just totally dropped off. I wish I could say I've been journaling, instead, but unfortunately, that's not true.

I've just been lazy.

I've watched a TON of Dexter lately, though, so I've been fairly productive. I mean, I've witnessed Dexter kill, like, at LEAST 20 people. So, stuff has been happening. Not necessarily in my own life, but in the lives of others around me. In the TV. Debra's had like, six different boyfriends. Busy times, I tell ya.

And it's getting real sad, real fast. Moving on.

So, tonight we returned from a lovely long weekend in Charlevoix. My vacations there have always gone by too quickly, for as long as I've been going there, and they seem to go by faster and faster the older I get. I also have less vacation time than I used to, so that's part of it. Isn't it crazy how you get about 5 months of vacation in college, and you're still like "ahhhhhhh my life SUCKS because I have so much homework!!" And now, when I see people of facebook complain about their college schedules I block them. Just kidding. I don't block them; I just think to myself about how they have no idea what "no free time" means.

(And yes, I'm fully aware that I'll re-read this in 5 years when I'm raising children and be like, "Hahahaha WHAT. What dumb things that girl said.")

Anyway, I was a total bum on vacation. I regress to infancy when I'm in Charlevoix, in that I lose the ability to make my own food and I take regular naps. Nap on the couch, nap on the beach, nap on a raft laying in the middle of the lake. Doesn't matter - I can and will nap anywhere.

I allowed myself to get SO out of it that I honestly didn't even know what day today was when I sat down to write this. I knew it was somewhere between August 5 and 8, but that's as far as I got. And I was so out of it - mentally - that I literally googled "what day is it?" which led me to a website called "timeanddate.com." And then I finally figured it out.

Anyway, vacation was great, but as with all great things that end, I ended up being very reflective and melancholy afterward. Because I just miss being with everyone I love, all the time. That's all I want in life. Is that too much? I've heard that your wedding is the only time in your life - other than your funeral (which, like, uhhh too late?!) - where everyone you and your spouse love are together in the same place. But that's stupid, I say! I would like to have that, like, at LEAST twice a year. What do I need to do to make this a reality? Have a baby or something? I don't want to have to play the baby card* yet, but I will threaten it. (*using the phrase "baby card" = ultimate sign of sound reasoning).

So, I will conclude this by saying I'm sad and thankful and rested and reflective. Which, all things considered, is a decent place to be in for a Sunday night. And I'm listening to Bon Iver, which is helpful, because I can be like, "Look. Dude. I may be a little melancholy tonight, but I'm in WAY better shape than you."

victory and defeat

Ughhhhhhhhh. What a day.

It's amazing how quickly the nasty side of real life can totally get you down, even after an amazing weekend.

Today I feel defeated. It was rough day at work, but I will not get into that, because I have read enough angry bloggers to know you should not blog about such things on a blog that can be traced back to you (aka anything on the internet, ever).

I've already cried twice tonight - once while watching Say Yes to the Dress (don't judge, it was emotional), and once while reading all of this Casey Anthony crap. And not like, angry or sad tears. It's not like I can't believe she was acquitted, because I totally can. It's just like... ugh. This world is so broken. That is my only sentiment from this whole case. One of my friends said it best, on (where else) Facebook:

"If she is truly innocent, may she find some peace. If she is not, may our Judge have mercy on her, as He does for us all. Above all, we have peace in knowing that her innocent child laughs in the arms of our Savior."

And that is what really gets me - that in spite of knowing that she's with Jesus (laughing! and smiling! or whatever the equivalent of what we'll do in Heaven is), life is just so hard here. And so heartbreaking. And I don't wish evil upon Casey - I just hurt for her. My heart breaks for her if she's innocent, and my heart breaks for her if she's not. Maybe that's not a popular opinion, but I just... ugh. That's where I am.

And on top of that, I'm listening to one, sad Bon Iver song over and over, which is like the equivalent of listening to Eye of the Tiger while getting ready to work out. It's just making my sadness even deeper. But, there you have it. I keep pressing the "repeat" button over and over and I can't stop myself.

I fully intended to have this, my first post in forever, be a report on the truly joyful experiences and wonderful people in my life, but.... ummm, oops? I'll save that for another time.

the dreamweaver is going loco...

In a recent post, I said that I'd write "soon" about our trip to San Francisco, but what do you know... it's a whole month later and I haven't gotten around to that yet.

I'm too busy with... whatever.

Basically, we walked and biked a lot, and ate a lot of delicious gourmet French toast. We ate a lot of good food, but the French toast stands out the most. And now we're doing a weight loss challenge but I'm like, ahhh I really want that carmelized orange French toast! Good thing it's thousands of miles away.

We saw some good friends who oriented us to their great city, and I fulfilled a childhood dream (literally) of seeing the Full House house. Years later we would find out that Uncle Joey was the inspiration for the angry-chickiest song of the 90's, and Danny Tanner swore like a sailor, and Stephanie was on meth, and Michelle is on coke (probably?), but in that little house, all was right with the world.

So, yeah, those were the highlights.

And instead of writing about everything that's happened in the past month, I'll simply share what Dave told me this morning:

Dave: "Last night, I dreamt that we were friends with Joakim Noah, and we were in Target with him, and he grabbed you. So then I beat him until he was half-dead, and then I went to jail."

Me: "We are watching too much NBA basketball and The Killing in this home."

All of that to say... we both highly recommend The Killing.

ummmmmmmmm my ovaries are crying

I saw this video posted on another blog tonight and it's too good not to pass on. To the 10 people who read this blog.

It's about a guy who writes emails to his daughter, which sounds kind of sweet, right?

Fast forward 90 seconds later, and I'm crying into my Diet Coke, sitting all alone in the apartment.

we went to san fran, and we liked it

apparently you can immediately tell who's a tourist because that they say "san fran" instead of "san francisco" or "sf" (and because of the accents... and the tennis shoes...) - but how do you live in a city with such rhyming potential and NOT take advantage of it? san fran, it is.

well, it was.

now it's back to good old illinois.

i'll have a more extensive recap coming as soon as i find our camera cord, so i can upload pictures. because what good is a recap WITHOUT a picture of yours truly outside the full house house?

but, for now, i'll just say - it was lovely:

bathing beautiful

Who's ready for summer?

Hahahaha, just kidding.

Only models in warm studios are ready for summer.

Like this girl:

And this girl:

Here's a bathing suit from a brand so expensive, they don't even list prices on their site. They just show their "collection" and then you're supposed to live somewhere fancy people live if you want to buy it. Where's the "online shopping" option? It's like they're saying, "if you were rich enough to afford this, you'd know how to buy it." Well, I don't know. And I'm not buying it. Sorry, fancy French boutique - you just lost my business (I don't think they'll mind):

Oooh but it's so pretty.

Of course, j. crew always has nice suits for classy ladies:

Do I like the suit, or do I just like this photo? Suit, or photo... suit or photo... can't decide. Maybe I don't want this girl's swimsuit at all. Maybe I just want her hair and her camera filter. Who even knows anymore:

I like this one - shimmery things just make me feel like I'm in the sun:

Thirty minutes of looking at bathing suits later... and it's still cold here.

Come quickly, summer!

home is wherever i'm with you...

I know this is kind of ancient in internet years, but I still love it: