Happy Birthday, Mom!

Happy Birthday to my mom, who I'm lucky enough to also call my friend.

We spent this past weekend celebrating her birthday in Michigan. As usual, it was a great trip. I always wish we lived closer (although I'm glad it's just a quick drive away) because I cherish our long conversations about faith, relationships, marriage, books, travel... everything.

After returning to Illinois, on Tuesday I got a package in the mail from her - with two of the books she'd told me had recently had a big impact on her walk with Jesus, and a set of hot curlers, which I'd mentioned I had been looking for. And that's pretty typical for her - that even while celebrating her own birthday, she was giving me a really thoughtful gift - some serious books, but some fun stuff, too. The books she sent were indicative of her personality - that she continually is learning more about what it is to follow God, and wants to help me along the journey, too.

Mom, in you, I see a woman who is passionately pursuing Jesus, and as a daughter, I'm more thankful for this than anything else you could do.

Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you!

Belated New Year's Thoughts

As usual, I'm sitting down to write an update on something that happened about four weeks ago. Oops! Luckily I have a fantastic memory. Kind of.

This year I've made 12 goals. 12 in '12. It sounds impressive, but it's not. Some of them are "go to the dentist" and "frame that print we bought on our honeymoon." I kind of have a feeling I may end 2012 saying, "Yay! I did a bunch of tasks this year!" rather than, "I had all these great experiences that I can't quantify." But, as much as I'd like to think I'm not a type A person, I am a person who will spend all day cleaning the study just so I can put a gold star in the box that says "clean the study." Yes, that was one of my goals for 2012, and yes, I am literally giving myself gold stars for goals I meet. As I'm reading what I'm writing, I'm concerned it's going to come across like I have some sort of psychological disorder.

I have even broken up big goals into smaller goals, so I can use more gold stars. Hopefully I'll be able to end 2012 saying it was a success in both quantifiable and unquantifiable ways.

Anyway, all of that to say - one of my goals is to write every week. I've missed one week so far, but I'm letting that slide. Three out of four is OK, right? My goal originally was to write every day, but that just seemed too ambitious. I wish it were realistic - and I hope someday it actually is - but I just didn't think it was yet. And that's kind of a depressing thought. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough? I don't know. But hopefully I get there by someday.

So, anyway - back to the purpose of writing: the trip recap. Over the New Year's holiday, Dave and I took a trip to Virginia and North Carolina. We've decided we should always celebrate New Year's somewhere warm. It's so much better that way. It's really depressing to celebrate that holiday in the cold. When you think about it, it's kind of sad that people in Chicago get so excited about ushering in the absolute worst month of the year. And some of them do it in short dresses and heels. What's wrong with us?!

We spent the first few days in Virginia with one of my best friends from college and her husband (shout out to the Kris and Garrett for being the BEST hosts). It was so fun. I can't think too deeply about it right now, because it just makes me sad that we don't live closer. My writing tonight is going to be informative and detached. Not gonna get emotional about any of this. But anyway, we had lots of quality girl time, and got to spend a lot of time hanging out at their favorite places. I always love seeing people in their natural habitats - going to their favorite restaurants, driving around their neighborhoods... just seeing what life is like every day. Plus, it was so warm there, and I even got to walk on the beach and dip my feet in the water. In December! I think I was meant to live by an ocean.

It was a weekend of firsts: I watched Pulp Fiction for the first time, and sang karaoke... by myself. Granted, there were only about 12 people in the karaoke bar and about 8 of them were in our group. But still, I was proud. And I decided that "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues" is my go-to karaoke song, should I ever decide to sing in public by myself again. I won't, but it's a nice thought, to think about how I once sang alone in public. And didn't sound terrible. I didn't sound good, but I didn't sound terrible. SUCCESS!

So, we had a really great time. And, as I always think after seeing friends who live other places: I hate that we don't live in the same place, but I'm very, very grateful to have friends that make me that sad to leave them.

After leaving friends in Virginia, we headed down to North Carolina, where we met up with Dave's mom's family. We stayed with his Aunt Vi in a town near where his mom grew up. She's one of those people who has absolutely no interest in embracing all the internet has to offer (and she may be so much better off for it...), so I could literally say whatever I wanted about her right now, because she will never, ever read this, but of course, I have nothing bad to say about her. She kept pestering us about how she's never seen our wedding photos, so we told her to get Facebook, and she looked at us like we were crazy. We told her that her memory of our wedding might have to suffice, because I literally don't think we have any hard copies of our wedding photos, except the ones hanging up at our place. She was like, "You need to print me pictures! I need to show my friends!" and we were like, "Your friends could not care less about our wedding photos. They probably want to see our wedding photos even less than they want to see pictures of your grandkids." (Sorry, grandparents)

It was great staying with her, though - she took us on a long driving tour of a lot of places in the area that were meaningful to the family. We drove by Dave's mom's childhood home, and we also stopped at the church where his parents were married, and where his mom is now buried. I can't really explain it, but was really special for me to get to be there. In one sense, I never knew his mom, so it's not really possible to miss her. But in another sense, it sometimes hits me pretty hard that there's this irreplaceable person who raised and loved my husband that I've never known. So getting to know her family more - and experience the place that was home to much of her life - was really important to me. But, I said I wasn't going to get emotional in this post so...

We also met a lot of people that neither Dave or I knew, but who sure knew who he was. We would drive around and randomly stop at some house... Aunt Vi would make us pull over somewhere and say, "your mom went to high school with this woman's son, so we need to stop and say "'hi.'" I kept thinking, "aren't these people going to mind that we're just walking in their homes, unannounced?" No, they absolutely did not mind. The south!

After hanging out with Dave's mom's side (sorry, no pictures), we drove a couple hours west and met up with his Dad's side (no pictures from there, either). I am always nervous meeting new people, but I should've learned a long time ago to never get nervous about meeting someone related to Dave. Luckily (for me), his dad's side is filled with extreme extroverts. I could've been a mute and it would've been fine. Within five minutes of meeting them all, I was like, "OK, OK... so this personality is like, a family thing." I get it. I know all about the genetics. They were all awesome. And they took us to an amazing donut shop. And fed us with delicious barbeque. And now I'm on Weight Watchers (thanks, guys!).

Seriously, though - we spent the evening talking and laughing over more delicious food, and it was really a bummer to have to leave. It definitely made me wish we could visit more often. But thanks to the miracle of Facebook, I can feel a little closer. Now we just need to get Aunt Vi to join.

Help Lauren Read More!

One of my 2012 goals is to read 20 books. To some people, that may not seem like very many, but if I'm totally honest with myself, I've probably spent more time watching the E! network than reading books in 2011, and that's just really, really not OK.

I just finished Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxas, which was amazing - highly recommended. So, I'm currently in that post-good-book slump where I don't want to start a new book because I don't think anything else will be as good. But that's not true, because there are millions of good books out there I haven't read - I just need to find them.

So, I've started a list of books I want to read in 2012. It's not very long, so I need suggestions. Like, if there are 20 books I need to read before I die, what do I absolutely have to read? (Like, what if I actually quit reading after 2012? Only 20 books left 'til death. So seriously - pick ONLY the best).

I like historical non-fiction, funny memoirs, sad memoirs, theology, and Harry Potter. And I'm trying to become someone who likes fiction.

Here's my list - please add your comments and additions!

1. The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver - I've been meaning to read this for years, but it's just been sitting on my bookshelf.
2. The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins - Guess I need to read this by March?
3.The Art of Fielding - Chad Harbach - Bought this for Dave for Christmas. Will be borrowing it.
4. A History of the World in 100 Objects - Neil MacGregor
5. Jerusalem - Simon Sebag Montefiore - Yes, I am publicly admitting I don't know enough about the roots of any major world religion. Plus, this is Bill Clinton's #1 must-read book, so I'll probably feel pretty smart and smug reading it in Starbucks. JK but not realllllllly.

OK, so, I guess that's it. I apparently can only think of 5 books I really want to read. That's kind of sad.

So, please send me your recommendations - I need 15 more. If I read your recommended book in 2012, I'll publicly acknowledge you on this blog after I read it, and talk about how great your taste in books is, and how smart you are. And if the book is bad, I'll still be thankful that, because of your recommendation, I read a book instead of watching Kim and Kourtney Take New York.

Say Yes to the Dress. Brownies. It's a very womany night here at the 201.

(We don't really call our apartment "the 201." Although, maybe we should. It sounds kind of cool. The coolest place in a suburb of families with high-school kids, I bet ya!)

OK, so, I'm such an idiot, because I just commented on my own blog, and then in my gmail window, I saw the little "1" pop up - signifying I had a new email - and I was like, "yay!" And then I checked my email, and saw it was a notification that someone left a comment on my blog. And I was like, "Cool! Someone else left a comment at the same time!" (No, someone didn't. It was just me.)

Ay yi yi. Don't ask why seeing that little "1" elicits such an excited reaction. 95% of the time it's just a notification from Freecycle that coolmom845 is wondering if anyone has any used paper towel tubes for her kids to do art projects with. Why don't I just unsubscribe to those emails? I should unsubscribe. I'm never going to go out of my way to either give or take any of the useless crap people peddle on there.

But still. The power of getting email. Never gets old.

Anyway, tonight Dave was at class - my one night a week when I can do whatever I want. Muahahaha! Just kidding, I can do whatever I want all the time.

I had big plans to bake brownies for a Christmas party, make a big dent in the book I'm reading, clean the bathroom, and clean the kitchen.

I think it goes without saying that I didn't clean the bathroom, because, come on, that's way too ambitious for a Tuesday night.

I ended up making pasta (always the dinner of choice when Dave's gone) and watching an episode of Say Yes to the Dress, so, you know, that's not really a promising start to anyone's evening, ever. I just cannot tear myself away from the drama of a woman spending $10,000 on a boring dress. It's truly incredible how much money these women spend to look average. I mean, like an average bride. I'm sorry, that was rude. All women are beautiful on their wedding days. But seriously, unless you're wearing a really unique vintage dress or something, we kind of all look the same. SORRY. I said it. We do. I know it's your special day, but you're mostly going to look the same as every other American bride in a 5-year span.

On our anniversary (of only one year, might I add), I asked Dave what my wedding dress looked like and he paused for a second and then said, "you looked beautiful." (And then I said, "don't you dare ever talk about my beauty in the past tense.")

See? Nobody cares. Just save your money so your child will be able to go to college. The manager of the store talks to these women like he cares so much about them finding their Cinderella moment and then goes home and sleeps in piles of his commission money.

(Dave did finish that conversation by saying my dress was made of lace and kind of sparkly and had "things" (hand motions over the shoulder area), so, his fashion memory was pretty good for a straight man, I'd say. But still, my point is that no man gives a crap about what it looks like.)

Anyway, what else did I do... Oh! I made brownies. My mom's recipe. And they are delicious! I'm so proud of myself for finally taking a childhood favorite and making it taste (almost) as good as my mom's. In an effort to get healthier, I decided to (mostly) give up either alcohol or sweets for the month of December. After tonight, I'm very pleased with my decision to choose to give up alcohol. Although, with the amount of frosting I licked from the bowl, I'm not sure how much healthier I'm getting.

Oh well. It's Christmas. And if you can't lick mint frosting out of a bowl at Christmas, then when can you?

Belated Anniversary Post

Look at that - we're walking away from our first year of marriage. I’m a day late on our anniversary post. And here we are on December 12 – the first day of year 2! We had a lovely anniversary, in spite of the fact that the Bears totally threw away a game in the 4th quarter. Dave was fairly unmoved by the whole thing, because he was so excited that it was our first anniversary and didn’t even care about the game. Right, Dave? Right? As much as I loved year 1, Dave and I are both really excited to have one year down, and to be moving into a new year.

I know some people say you have to date for a long time before getting engaged and getting married, because if you haven’t gone through very much with that person, how can you feel confident entering into a lifelong partnership with them? And I think that’s smart. We definitely should’ve had a couple of kids before getting engaged, because how else would I have known what kind of father he’d be? And we should’ve probably moved somewhere together, because otherwise, how would we know how the other person responds to new situations?

Seriously, though, people say that the first year is hardest, but that can’t possibly be true, because we haven’t even had kids yet, and I literally can’t believe that’s easier than adjusting to marriage. I’ve heard stories about Dave’s childhood and I’m pretty sure that unless the kids are all-Lauren, we’re in for some mischief. And even if they are all-me, we’re in for some weird, moody teenage years. Sure, there have been some hard things about this first year, and some weird one-ness things about marriage that have been difficult to get used to, like sharing a bank account. One of us has spent too much money on art projects and one of us has spent too much money on speaker wire and I’ll let you guess who did what.

But that’s all pretty surface-y. You’ll get the good stuff, like having someone to take care of you when you’re sick – and the bad stuff, like deciding who does what chore around the house. But at a deeper level, it’s been so challenging and awesome to see life through a different lens. And combining my life and vision with someone else’s. It definitely isn’t easy, but it makes us grow. And, it’s pretty fun.

When I asked Dave what he was most looking forward to about year 2 of our marriage (because I like to celebrate milestones by asking deep, vision-y questions), he said “a baby.” Oh, nope; he said, “not a baby.” He also said, “learning more about each other.” And I thought that was really cool, because even though he is my spouse and my lifelong partner, there are a lot of things I’ve still yet to learn about him, and vice versa. I thought he was pretty excellent before we got married, but since entering into marriage and living with him every day, I’ve found out some more things that I absolutely love about him:

1. He is an excellent traveler. Seriously, navigates airports and new cities like a pro. He doesn’t shy away from visiting places where he doesn’t know the language or culture. Instead, he’s just excited to explore a new place. This is very important to me, because I love going new places, and there’s nothing worse than traveling with someone who’s slow or afraid of new places. If you cannot navigate airport security like a competent human being, I will leave you in the dust.

2. He’s just an adult who knows how to do things. Single people, if you wouldn't call yourself a realist and have your head in the clouds at all, I cannot overstate the importance of this quality in a spouse. He makes real dinners with more than one dish. He remembers to change the oil. He DVRs things when I’m out of town for work.

3. He pushes me to do things I love to do. Like write this blog. Many times, he’s asked why I haven’t been writing very often, and when I come up with dumb excuses, he doesn’t let me get away with it. He pushes me to do what I love, even if I feel like I don’t have time or energy or confidence.

4. He’s honest with me. The good thing about being married to someone who’s blunt and says what he's thinking is that he’ll tell you what's really on his mind. And sometimes he’ll tell me something I don’t want to hear, but because of it, I grow and learn and (hopefully) change. Sometimes I’m too stubborn to change, but hey, it’s only year 1. Give me some time. Recently,
I told him about something I was thinking about doing, but that I thought I wouldn’t be qualified enough or good enough to do, and he said, “Why not? You could do it. You should do it.” And he was serious. He really believes I can and should pursue what I want to do.

5. He pushes me to think about what I believe. Every once in a while, when we’re lying in bed at night about to fall asleep, he’ll start a sentence with, “today, on Drudge, I read…” (or unfortunately, sometimes, “today, Rush Limbaugh said…”) and that’s when we know it’s all over. We’re going to be awake for the next two hours talking politics. And even though we have fairly different opinions, I have some of the best political conversations with him, because he has thoughtful, informed opinions, and respects the fact that I do, too. Even though we totally disagree on certain things. But he asks me tough questions, which encourage me to truly assess what I think and why I think it. For a brief moment in time this fall, we thought Jon Huntsman might bring our divided hearts together, but now that’s not looking so good.

6. He picks his battles. I’m pretty sure this is a tactic people use with their children, but I think it’s fairly useful with your spouse, too. He knows me, and knows when I’m frustrated or tired or stressed. And sometimes – in those times – I’ll say or do something that bugs him, but he knows me well enough to know when to turn something into an argument, and when to just be like, “ok, let’s just let this go” or, "let's talk about this again when you've had some coffee." I can’t tell you how nice it is to be married to someone who challenges me to live and love better, but also is full of grace and easy-going-ness (that’s a word).

Cleanin' Machine

About once a month, I get this intense urge to clean the entire apartment. Not just like, putting things away and vacuuming, but EXTREME cleaning. The other 29 days, my desire is much lower, so this once-a-month push is a big deal for me.

It normally happens when Dave is at class, which is probably a good thing, because then I can crank up my weird music mixes (tonight's mix: Christmas music, Lady Gaga, Jordan Knight (not kidding)) and spray a ton of Pledge and not bother anyone else's senses but my own.

One thing I've learned since living on my own is that I would probably never want to live in an apartment or house bigger than the one I live in now. It's pretty small, but my gosh, it's hard and consistent work to keep a place clean. If you live in a huge house and manage to keep it clean without outside help, I don't believe you.

We have ceiling fans in the kitchen and our bedroom, so part of my cleaning ritual is to dust and Pledge those blades til they're shiny and dust-free. We also have a ceiling fan in the hallway, right when you walk in the apartment. I always forget about that one, since we typically don't use the light connected to that fan. However, tonight, I turned on the hallway light and happened to look up at it. And I was disgusted. Not kidding, I think the level of dust and grime on that thing would qualify our apartment for some sort of TLC or HGTV show. Like "Dirt Fans!" - a show about people who have gross ceiling fans and are fans of being dirty. We would win that show, if it were a competition show.

So there I am, standing in the hallway looking at this fan, totally grossed out. I spent a few moments strategizing how to clean it. If I stood underneath it, surely mass amounts of dirt and grime would fall down onto me, into my hair, and I wouldn't get it out for days. Like after you go to the beach and have sand in your hair for a couple of days, even though you wash it.

But then I remembered that Dave had been Dexter for Halloween, and as part of his costume, had worn this face-mask thing. That thing was like, $14, so I figured I may as well use it again and get our money's worth.

So, there I was, standing on a chair with my bloody Dexter mask on, dusting the grime off the ceiling fan blades, with Burl Ives crooning in the background. This is the glamorous adult life I'd always dreamed of. Look at me - living it!

So, not only did I go through that disgusting ordeal - I'm also writing it down and sharing it so others can see what a competent housekeeper I am.

Anyway. Not only did I clean tonight, but I also hung up my awesome map I bought in Seattle. I have LOVED this style of map since I saw one of California about a year ago, and when I was out in Seattle, I found it at this awesome map store. I love it! It reminds me of the ocean and the mountains (two things I wish I were closer to) and a great trip. And also, it's just pretty:

oh, these are just some pretty things to look at on a saturday morning

necklace

blouse

boots

dress